Surgery for my Varicose Veins

Recovering from surgery isn't the ideal way to get a little rest and relaxation, but I'll take a little downtime any way I can get it.

The History of my Legs

Last Summer, I was visiting my family when my sister said something about my legs. Veins were bulging out. My parents and my wife noticed what she was talking about, and I suddenly regretted wearing shorts that day.

"How long has it been like that," people started to ask me.

"I don't know," I said. "A couple of years, maybe."

"It doesn't hurt?"

"No," I said. "It doesn't bother me at all." The truth is I never even noticed it until people brought it up to me that day.

I consider myself to be a relatively healthy person. When I was a teenager, I would ride my bike for miles and miles. I had worked manual labor jobs. In high school and college, I was on my feet working. In my twenties and thirties, I've been hauling heavy loads or standing working retail or engaging with people working promotions. I got exercise, whether it was from working or in my leisure time, so I didn't think I needed to worry about my legs.

You Should See a Doctor

Where the magic was happening

All of that seemed to change at some point although I'm not sure exactly when. It turns out I had varicose veins. At my family's urging, I spoke to my doctor, who referred me to a specialist, who looked at my legs and asked me some questions. There were multiple visits to the good doctor. On one visit, there was an intern with him. I was happy to help the intern learn as she looked at my legs and the specialist pointed out some of the finer parts of my legs and the varicose veins.

I showered on the night of Operation Eve and put on clean underwear for the occasion.

The varicose veins didn't go away. Finally, it was decided that I would need surgery to remove the varicose veins. I wasn't thrilled with the option, but it did give me a few hours to sleep and get away from the children, so maybe it wasn't all that bad.

There were minor details to deal with leading up to the big day. The hospital called to pre-check me and ask some questions. I was under orders to not eat or drink anything after midnight. I showered on the night of Operation Eve and put on clean underwear for the occasion.

Operation Morning arrived. It was strange for me to wake up

and not have coffee as I began my day. Wife and I had a quiet morning as we drove to the hospital and found our way to the Surgical Center. We waited for my name to be called. After calling my name, they directed me to an area where I could remove my clothes and put on a snazzy looking johnny that tied in the back. I looked at the robe and saw something that looked like a smiley face on the inside. I took this as a good omen as I put the robe on.

This is why I Hate Answering Questions

Someone asked if I drink. I enthusiastically said yes, and asked what they had on this particular day. Apparently, they were just asking about my history.

After dressing in my surgery uniform, I hopped on the hospital bed and patiently waited for Team Cut Greg's Leg to get to me. The team was comprised of good people. They asked me questions about my health history. One person asked me if I wake up in the middle of the night for no reason. I answered yes, and that somehow got translated into sleep apnea. I told them I don't have sleep apnea. Sometimes, I just wake up like they asked me. This is why I hate answering questions.

Another person on my team asked me if I drink. I enthusiastically said yes, and asked what they had on this particular day. Apparently, they were just asking general questions about my history and weren't offering anything. I was mildly disappointed but proceeded to answer their questions.

It was getting closer to the moment of truth. I was all dressed up and ready to go under. My anesthesiologist had a few more questions for me. Over the course of our pleasant conversation, we found out I went to school with his husband, who I'll call "B". I remembered "B" and asked him to say hello for me.

After being dressed up, taped up, and interrogated, I got some fluids for hydration and meds to make me sleepy. I drifted off, and they wheeled me away where the knife I was to go under awaited my arrival. The surgery went well. It was the recovery that presented some problems.