Stories for Dads and Moms who Need a Laugh

Based on "A Visit from Saint Nicholas" by Clement C. Moore 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house. Kitty was purring. She'd just killed a mouse. My glasses were cleaned and laid out with care in hopes that bourbon and beer would be there. The children were nestled all snug in their beds while visions of more screens danced in their heads. Wife on her side of the bed. Me on mine. Wondering how long 'til a child climbs in. When down in the kitchen there was such a clatter. I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Turned on the light. Blind from the flash. Hand over face to see who it is. The moon outside shone on the snow gave a luster of midday to objects below. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but all of my kids assembled in good cheer. They poured out some eggnog, so lively and quick. I shooed them to bed. Here comes St. Nick. More rapid than eagles his coursers they came. And I shooed and ...

There are three short weeks until Christmas. In that amount of time, like millions of other families, my family needs to get out Christmas cards, shop for various get-togethers, figure out the kids' Christmas lists, and send packages to family who live far away. Children Waiting for Santa Claus Things get different as you get older. As a little child, going to bed was the easy part. It was falling asleep that was hard. You wanted to fall asleep so it would be Christmas Morning faster, but you were too excited to fall asleep. My brother and I would give each other that uneasy look when one of us had to use the bathroom. Should we chance it? We did, and then ran back into our room and under the covers. Eyes closed like we had been in bed the whole time. My sister's bedroom was downstairs. She would sleep upstairs with us on Christmas Eve to be safe. You can't be too careful when Santa Claus is visiting. My brother and I had bedrooms downstairs when we were older, and we fell ...