Ending our Run as Foster Parents
Foster Parent Training
Our journey started in a room with other potential foster parents. We went through a training process that explained what it meant to be a foster parent and what we could expect while these children were with us. Wife and I learned plenty, and we also found ourselves explaining some key points to our own children. For instance, The Oppressed thought it would be great if we had girls coming to our house. She was happy and willing to share her room with any girls that needed a place to stay. The Boy wanted boys to stay, but not just any boy. He was hoping to meet a boy who had a cat. We explained the situation to both children. Someone calls us and says who needs a place to stay. We also told The Boy there was a very good chance no cat would be coming with them.
Not long after our training finished, we got the first call. There were two girls who needed a home. The Oppressed was thrilled. The Boy asked if they had a brother. We had to break the news to him that just girls would be staying with us.
Adjusting to Changes
The placement had its hiccups, especially when it came to school, which was over 20 miles from our house. The state is responsible for foster children getting to school. Unfortunately, there was a slight SNAFU between the state and the transportation company. That meant I was driving the children to school for the first two or three days. As the chauffeur of the family, I was given an extra task to my morning. Lucky for me I don't mind driving. Unfortunately, I needed to take my own children to school first, so I needed to wait for their school to open before hitting the open road.
This was the only time I was driving children to school. Things on the transportation side soon worked itself out. It was a good thing, too. There were other things that needed our attention, like doctor's and dentist appointments. We had to go to extra parent-teacher conferences and be present for meetings with social workers. Being a foster parent was a full-time job with all of the responsibilities that went with taking care of children.
Learning on our First Placement
Much to the delight of The Boy, the girls did have a brother that ended up needing a place to stay. He joined us and the family of six became a family of seven. He wanted to play baseball. Luckily, I had an extra spot on my baseball team, so I was able to find a place for him. This was when I was at the baseball field six days a week. Part of my coaching duties included telling him to run while he was busy admiring his majestic pop flies barely clear the infield dirt.
That was a long placement. There were a lot of tears shed, and the family learned a lot over those months. The Oppressed was happy to help them in any she could. She was always happy to share her room with other girls. During another placement, a girl her age stayed with us. That was an interesting placement for us, to say the least.
Some placements were long-term, others were short term. Some children stayed with us for just a weekend or just one night. Adjustments were made by Wife, me, The Oppressed, and The Boy. One of our placement had long-term ramifications, as we adopted two foster children, Lovie and Slugger.
Challenges Faced and Memories Made
One of the weirdest things about fostering was making the jump from elementary school parents to high school parents.
Being foster parents made for some exciting memories and some not-so exciting memories that were no less memorable. There was the time some children decided to use our minivan as an easel and draw on the inside. After weeks of denials, children finally came clean and admitted to the deed. For me and wife, it wasn't so much about the act itself as it was the lying about it.
One of the weirdest things about fostering was making the jump from elementary school parents to high school parents. We went from dealing with elementary school responsibilities to homeroom and teenage issues. I suppose it would have been nice to have eased into this with a little introduction to middle school. Then again, nothing Wife and I have done has really been easy.
Different children with us on road trips. Different names on Christmas cards. Different sleeping arrangements. Change was the only constant for our family.
It's been months since our last foster placement. We have settled into a routine with the same number of children and not worrying about another phone call or doctor's visit for a new child. Not much has changed for us. With four children in four different schools, we are no less busy.
Click here for information on how to be a foster parent in Massachusetts.
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