Stories for Dads and Moms who Need a Laugh

"Beat the drum and hold the phone. The sun came out today. We're born again, there's new grass on the field." - John Fogerty, "Centerfield"   "Um... No, that's okay." - The Boy A backyard just perfect for a game. Note the chair that would be handy for the strike zone. Summer Vacation means a lot of things to a lot of people. For me as a child, it meant being able to stay up late so I could watch the Red Sox game on television. In the morning I got the behind the scenes information from the morning paper and made sure the division rivals lost so the Red Sox would be able to pick up a game on everyone. After I had finished my research for the morning, I went outside to meet my friends and play baseball. Baseball was what we did in the summer and on the weekends during the spring. My father would pitch in games where I played against my brother. Games would be played in the driveway. I asked my father if he would park the car in front of the dr...

We recently finished our road trip into the Midwest. We saw a lot of great things and ate a lot of great food. After returning home, emptying our bags, and contributing to the never-ending pile of laundry, it was time for me and Slugger to pack our bags again and get back on the road. Slugger had signed up for Job Corps, an alternative education program. This program would allow students to earn a G.E.D. and learn a trade. Job Corps has locations all over the country, including New England. When Slugger and I went to sign up for the program, we knew we could find a location that would be relatively close to us. The campus for Slugger was going to be in Vergennes, Vermont. Population: 2,559. The smallest town in the Green Mountain State. Making Preparations for Vermont Unfortunately, this would not be a project tackled by me and Wife, as she needs to go to work. The task  A slice of life in Vergennes. of keeping a child alive overnight through multiple states fell squarely on my ...

 Chicago. The Windy City. The setting of "Chicago Fire", "The Fugitive", "The Blues Brothers", and the ultimate destination of our road trip. A view of Chicago from Lake Michigan. We pulled into the Windy City and checked into our hotel. We dropped our bags and then we dropped down on our beds. It had been a long trip from Massachusetts to New York to Ohio and into the Land of Lincoln. Wife and I couldn't wait to see what Chicago had in store for us. It's a city she had always wanted to visit. Our first experience was at a gas station. There was a little bit of sticker shock when we filled our gas tank. Gas prices are tough wherever you go, but we weren't expecting it to be this tough. We were too tired to give the price at the pump too much thought, though. It was 9:00 and it had been another day on the road. The Boy wanted to see the pool and make sure it passed muster. While checking in, he and The Oppressed went to check things out. It l...

School is over and we needed a vacation. We travel as often as we can. Wife and I love to do it, but children tend to make it a little more challenging. School tends to do that. Vacation time is limited to certain times of the year. Planning our trip at the end of the school year seemed like the perfect time to do it. The Oppressed and The Boy would be going to camp soon. Lovie has work. Traveling in June would allow us to hit the road and celebrate the academic accomplishments and spend some time together as a family, much to the delight of our teenage cherubs. As usual, nothing here really happens as planned. Wife and I were hoping to be out the door and on the road by 5 a.m. It was more like 7:00 when we finally got going. Wife and I got coffee for us and some breakfast for the children. Soon, we were on Interstate 90 heading west. We were on the road for a while. Massachusetts isn't the biggest state in the Union, but the kids didn't realize how big it was going from east...

One of the highlights of this school year was The Boy's trip to Plimoth Patuxet . This field trip is almost like a rule for children who live in eastern Massachusetts. My first time going to Plymouth was when I was in the third grade, just like The Boy is in this year. There were preparations to attend to leading up to the big day. Students wear the same shirt so no one gets lost if something distracts them and they stop walking while the rest of the group proceeds. I felt I should have the same shirt as The Boy so we could be field trip bros on this special day. He wasn't as excited about this idea as I was. We both had yellow shirts. Wife surprised me by designing my shirt so it had the same logo as The Boy. Now we were really bros. The Boy still wasn't impressed. The Day of the Field Trip The big day had finally arrived. I was ready. The boy was ready but he wasn't as excited as I was. I had been looking forward to this. The Oppressed wasn't able to go when she...